it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm at about main and main street
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
