yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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