i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
