Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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