Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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