she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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