Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
