So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
