And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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