Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You dont lie about slip and slides
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
