She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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