lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
