I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize