i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
