The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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