"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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