Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
only you would photoshop your dick
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
