I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
