Its about making memories worth repressing
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
