This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
