Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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