ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
