I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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