found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
