I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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