That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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