The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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