I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
