how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
