wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
