her vagine was all disorganized.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
