in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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