Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
