This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
