she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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