There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
