If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As shirtless as possible
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
