his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
