Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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