I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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