She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
