Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
