I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
