Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize