if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
