fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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