That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we made out on top of his cat.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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