I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
