After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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