Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
