I'm so fucking centered right now
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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