she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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