just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
