if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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