Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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