I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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