Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
