I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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