there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
