why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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