You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
