Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
