I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have fence marks all over my body
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize