I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella