If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
