Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward