i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick